文/本刊記者 李靜
從北歐雪國到山城霧都
文/本刊記者 李靜
Anders幸福的一家
在搬到重慶居住前,來自瑞典的Anders已經(jīng)來來往往中國不下8次,不僅是因為工作的原因,還因為在這期間,他遇到了自己生命中的另一半,他的重慶太太王梅。兩人和他們的漂亮女兒一起,在瑞典待了10年。但對Anders來說,他對在中國生活一直很向往,他很喜歡中國,來到中國就像是生命的另一次冒險旅行,充滿未知、新奇與向往。于是,在2009年11月,Anders終于如愿以償,和太太一起,從遙遠的北歐雪國搬到了霧都山城。
太太來自重慶萬盛,Anders自然跟隨太太來到萬盛開始了自己的重慶生活。因為不同的地理位置和環(huán)境,萬盛和重慶主城區(qū)自然有著很大的區(qū)別,一個寧靜諧和,就像自己的家鄉(xiāng);一個熱鬧繁華。雖然不同,但Anders非常喜歡這樣的反差,讓他有不一樣的感覺。
Anders在瑞典是一個心理分析師,從04年開始,他便開始幫助人們分析、疏導心理問題,為他們解決心理上的困惑,釋放壓力。他面對的病人都有不同的問題,焦慮、壓力等,和所有心理分析師一樣,Anders有著優(yōu)秀的職業(yè)素養(yǎng),他沉著冷靜,耐心地傾聽客人的生活經(jīng)歷和想法,為他們提供可取的建議?!斑@是一份不容易的工作,因為每個人都有不同的想法,而每個人在面對陌生人時,即使面對的是心理醫(yī)生,他們也會隱藏自己內心的一些真實想法,而我要做的,就是讓他們信任我,走進他們的內心世界里去。這是一個信任的問題,只有和病人保持良好的關系才能完成?!盇nders語調緩慢地說道,“我工作的目標就是幫助病人們找回自己的那份潛力和信心”。
作為一個與人的內心打交道的人來說,長期傾聽 病人的心理困擾,有時也會讓自己陷入迷茫,受 病人的想法干擾,每到這個時候,除了有心理督導幫助他們,Anders還會收起行裝,去走耶穌走過的路,在瑞典,人們稱之為朝圣。他會坐飛機到法國,然后步行到西班牙、意大利、耶路撒冷等國家,一年一次,每次都去不同的地方?!霸谛凶叩倪^程中,我們讓自己的心靈得到平靜,清空。這樣才好回去更好地工作。”Anders非常喜歡自己的職業(yè)。而每到這個時候,太太都會非常支持他。
現(xiàn)在,Anders正在一家重慶本地的心理診所工作。雖然來重慶工作的時間不長,但Anders已經(jīng)有了很多向他尋求幫助的病人,大多是12歲——21歲的青少年。在瑞典的時候,Anders已經(jīng)有了幫助青少年的經(jīng)驗,他認為,在中國的孩子們其實壓力很大,學習負擔重,又正好是叛逆的年齡,所以難免會有困惑。因為自己也有孩子,他更希望給孩子們更多的幫助和關懷,“讓他們重新認識和了解自己和他們的生活,這樣才能真正幫到他們”。
因為語言交流障礙,在重慶的 病人只能通過發(fā)信息或電子郵件來與他交流,也有個別會用簡單的英語和身體語言與他溝通。但Anders非常開心,這是他第一次幫助到自己國家以外的人?!耙赃@樣發(fā)信息的方式為他們做心理咨詢很好,就像是一個朋友,更能讓他們相信我?!碧岬皆谥貞c的工作,Anders非常滿意。太太王梅也很開心Anders能夠這么快地適應重慶的生活,做自己喜歡的工作。Anders一直有個愿望,就是希望在重慶開一家自己的心理咨詢室,為在重慶生活的外籍人士和本地人提供心理服務指導。
平日不工作的時候,Anders便會和家人一起,逛逛重慶的大街小巷,去不同的城區(qū)看看,每到一處,他都覺得很驚喜,因為這座城市和他的家鄉(xiāng)完全不同,到處都讓他充滿新鮮感。短短一年多的時間,Anders已經(jīng)愛上了重慶,北歐的寒冷與火爐一樣的重慶是兩個極端,也讓這個來自冰雪之國的瑞典人體驗了自己第二故鄉(xiāng)的獨特魅力。
看著蹦蹦跳跳、活潑可愛的女兒,Anders覺得很幸福,作為一個重慶女婿,他希望可以和妻子、孩子一起,在這里生活上10年,每天親眼目睹這座城市的發(fā)展變化,做一個優(yōu)秀的心理分析師,讓重慶的朋友每天都開開心心。
Be fo re m oving to Chongq ing, Ande rs from Sweden has a lready trave lled to China m o re than eigh t tim es, it is no t on ly because o f his job, bu t a lso a t the sam e tim e, he m e t the o the r ha lf o f his life, his Chongqing w ife W ang Mei. They had lived w ith their beau tifu l daugh te r in Sweden fo r ten yea rs, bu t living in Ch ina has a lways been a d ream to Ande rs. Like he said, he likes China; Com ing to China is like ano the r adven tu re trave l o f his life, unknown, nove l and desirab le. On Novem be r 2009, Ande rs fina lly m oved from the snow coun try o f No rth Eu rope to this m oun tain city.
Since h is w ife is from Wan Sheng d istrict, Ande rs cam e he re to sta rt h is life in Chongq ing. Because o f the geog raphic loca tions and circum stances, W an Sheng is d iffe ren t than Chongqing u rban a rea; one is peace fu l, just like his hom e while the o the r is live ly. Bu t he likes the con trast, it gives him d iffe ren t fee lings.
Ande rs is a psycho the rap ist in Sweden. He b e g a n to h e lp p e o p le a n d g ive th em p sy c ho log ica l p e rsua s ion to so lve the ir psycho logica l p rob lem s and re lease p ressu re since 2004.His pa tien ts have d iffe ren t p rob lem s, a n x ie ty, s tre ss, p re ssu re. Like a ll the psycho the rap ists w ith exce llen t p ro fessiona l qua lity. Ande rs was ca lm and listens to their life expe riences pa tien tly and ideas then p rovide them good advice. “This is a difficu lt job because eve ryone has d iffe ren t though ts, and eve ryone w ill hide their true fee lings when facing the strange rs even a psycho the rap ist. W ha t I do is to le t them pu t trust in m e so I can wa lk in to their inside wo rld. This is a ll abou t trust, it can on ly be com p le ted un less m ain tain good re la tionship w ith pa tien ts. My job is to he lp the pa tien ts ge t their po ten tia l and con fidence back.” As a m an who a lways listens to pa tien ts' psycho logica l p rob lem s, som e tim es it's easy to be in te rfe red by them and ge t you rse lf lost. Eve ry tim e in this m om en t, besides his supe rviso r he lp them, Ande rs a lways packed up and take a trip to fo llow the Jesus' pa th, peop le ca ll it p ilg rim age. He w ill go to d iffe ren t coun tries eve ry yea r, Spain, Ita ly, and Je rusa lem. “W hen we a re wa lking, ou r hea rt ge ts ca lm and c lea r, so we can ge t back to wo rk be tte r.” Ande rs rea lly likes his job and h is w ife is rea lly suppo rtive a t th is m om en t.
Cu rren tly An d e rs w o rks fo r a lo ca l psycho log ica l c linic in Chongq ing. Although he cam e to Chongqing no t long, he has m any pa tien ts ask h im fo r he lp, m ost o f which we re12-21 yea rs o ld you ths. Ande rs a lready had expe rience he lp ing teens in Sweden. He th inks Chinese ch ild ren a re ve ry stressfu l because o f their heavy study load. And a lso a t rebe llious age, so they a re a ll puzz led and con fused. Since he has a child, he'd like to give ch ild ren m o re he lp and ca re. “He lp them ge t to know and unde rstand them se lves and the ir lives, tha t's wha t a rea lly he lp m eans.”
Righ t now pa tien ts can on ly comm unica te w ith him by send ing m essages o r e-m ail because o f the language ba rrie r, bu t som e o f them can still comm unica te w ith him in sim p le Eng lish and body language. Ande rs is ve ry happy, this is his first tim e to he lp pa tien t from d iffe ren t coun try. By doing psycho logica l counse ling in this way they trust m e as a friend, which can he lp them a lo t.”W hen m en tioned abou t his job in Chongqing, Ande rs is rea lly sa tisfied. His w ife W ang Mei is ve ry happy tha t he can adap t life he re so fast. Ande rs has a d ream tha t he can open up his own psycho log ica l counse ling c linic in Chongqing fo r a ll the expa ts and loca l peop le to p rovide psycho logica l se rvices instruction.
Ande rs likes to stay w ith his fam ily in his spa re tim e, they w a lked eve ry stree t and d iffe ren t towns o f Chongqing, and he fe lt ve ry su rp rised to see th is spec ia l city tha t is com p le te ly d iffe ren t from his hom e tow n. W ithin a yea r, Ande rs has fa llen in love w ith Chongqing, the extrem es o f co ld as No rth Eu rope and ho t as fu rnace, the Sw ed ish guy expe rienced the un ique cha rm o f his second hom e town.
Looking a t his love ly daugh te r, Ande rs fe lt ve ry happy. As a Chongqing son-in-law, he hoped to live in Chongqing w ith his w ife and kid fo r ano the r ten yea rs to w itness the city's d e ve lo pm e n t, h e w a n ts to b e a g o o d psycho the rap ist and w ish a ll the Chongqing friends happy eve ry day.
From Snow Count ry to Mountain City
W ritten by Aggie & Gary Hynson