翻譯擂臺

上月回顧

共有378人參與本次《翻譯擂臺》，我們從中篩選了比較優(yōu)秀的三篇譯文與大家分享。這三位讀者將獲贈當(dāng)期雜志一本并獎勵(lì)現(xiàn)金（雙語幣）20元和50個(gè)積分。

提到中國的經(jīng)典情書，就不能不提文學(xué)大師沈從文。《從文家書》字里行間流露的感情質(zhì)樸、深沉而熱烈。沈先生用三年多的時(shí)間追求張兆和女士，其間情書不斷，最終修成正果；而婚后三十年他們依然保持書信方式的密切交流，真是難能可貴。二月情人節(jié)將至，一起來翻譯這段經(jīng)典情書，感受他們那份堅(jiān)若磐石、至死不渝的愛情吧！

我想到這些，我十分憂郁了。生命都是太脆薄的一種東西，并不比一株花更經(jīng)得住年月風(fēng)雨，用對自然傾心的眼，反觀人生，使我不能不覺得熱情的可珍，而看重人與人湊巧的藤葛。

在同一人事上，第二次的湊巧是不會有的。我生平只看過一回滿月。我也安慰自己過，我說，“我行過許多地方的橋，看過許多次數(shù)的云，喝過許多種類的酒，卻只愛過一個(gè)正當(dāng)最好年齡的人。我應(yīng)當(dāng)為自己慶幸，……”這樣安慰到自己也還是毫無用處，為“人生的飄忽”這類感覺，我不能夠忍受這件事來強(qiáng)作歡笑了。我的月亮就只在回憶里光明全圓，這悲哀，自然不是你用得著負(fù)疚的，因?yàn)椴⒉皇怯捎谀銗鄄粣畚摇?/p>

選自沈從文之《從文家書》

優(yōu)秀譯文

濟(jì)南Ellie

Having this in mind, I feel moodiness very much. Life is too weak, it is no more strong than a flower to withstand the time, wind and rain. To review life with the eyes admiring the nature makes me have to found the value of passion, and regard the coincidence between people as important. The second coincidence in the same people and thing does not exist. I have only seen the full moon once in my life. I have also comforted myself, I said, "I have crossed many bridges in different places, seen the cloud many times, and drunk a lot of kinds of the wine, but only loved one person who was in the most proper age. I should rejoice for myself, …" It is also no use to comfort myself like this. I can't endure this kind of feeling just like "the moving swiftly of life" to show happiness. My moon is full and blight only in my memory. Of course you needn't feel apologetic for this sorrow. Because it dose not due to whether you love me.

外編點(diǎn)評：譯得不錯(cuò)，但是要注意措辭，例如“moodiness”在英語中的意思是“性情乖戾、壞脾氣”，而譯文中想表達(dá)的意思是“沮喪、悲哀”。還要注意比較級的正確形式，例如應(yīng)該是“it is no stronger”而不是“it is no more strong”；此外，翻譯時(shí)可以運(yùn)用否定意義的詞匯來取得相反的效果，例如本句可以譯成it is as weak as/it is as frail as（跟……一樣的脆弱）。另外有些表達(dá)過于直白，例如“eyes admiring the nature”和“the moving swiftly of life”，后者說成“the uncertainty of life”會更好。最后還要注意一些拼寫錯(cuò)誤，如blight（應(yīng)為bright）、dose（應(yīng)為does）。過于依賴電腦拼寫檢查程序的一大弊端就是檢查程序常常會將拼寫錯(cuò)誤的單詞自動修正成另外一個(gè)與上下文無關(guān)的正確詞匯。

北京 深海的魚

I am very depressed when I think about these trivia. Life is as fragile as a flower that could hardly endure various tests by time and tide. Track back to my life, I have to admit that how precious the passion is and I think highly of those relationships that happens in coincidence. But here is no same coincidence happen twice. For me, I only appreciate the full moon once in my life. I have comforted myself by saying "I have been so many places, seen clear and beautiful clouds for so many times and tasted so many various wines, but I only love one woman who is just in her best age. I should appreciate it and feel lucky for myself…" however, those comforted words are useless, life is uncertainty for me and I couldn't smile tolerantly. It's pit that the bright full moon only shines in my memory, but you needn't feel guilty for not loving me.

外編點(diǎn)評：譯得非常好，但是需要注意的是盡量不要將連詞如“but”作為句子的開頭。某些地方丟掉了“have's”，如“I have only appreciated the full moon”、“I have only loved one woman”。而有些地方的時(shí)態(tài)也有些混亂，如應(yīng)將“I couldn't smile tolerantly”改為現(xiàn)在時(shí)態(tài) “I can't smile tolerantly”。Coincidence用詞不當(dāng)，改為“relationships that happen by chance”會更好。最后還要注意形容詞的修飾對象，例如“comforted words”的意思是“詞本身被安慰了”，應(yīng)改為“words of comfort（安慰的話）”。

上海 Vera Liu

Thinking of these I fell into deep sadness. Life is too fragile a thing, not even stronger than a flower to stand years of storm. When looking back into life with eyes falling for the nature, I can not help feeling the preciousness of passion, and come to cherish more the imbroglio of coincidence between people.

To the same person or thing no identical coincidence will happen again. In my whole life I only saw the full moon for once. I used to console myself by saying: "I have walked through bridges of many places, seeing clouds for many times and drunk wine of many types, but I only fell in love with one girl at her most beautiful age of life. I should have congratulated myself for this......" However, such self comfort still failed in vain. With daunting feelings like "uncertainty of life" I can no longer stand to put on an air of cheerfulness. The bright full moon is only left in my memory. Naturally you don't need to feel sorry for my gloom, as it has nothing to do with your love for me.

外編點(diǎn)評：譯得非常好，譯文大部分條理分明，通俗易懂，但是也有一些小問題，例如“a flower to stand years of storm”讓人感到困惑不解并且不是很恰當(dāng)，此句最好說成“it can no more stand years of storm than a flower”或者“it's as weak as a flower before the storm”。此外“過橋”習(xí)慣說成“walks over/across bridges”而不是“walk through”。另外“Nothing to do with your love for me”所表達(dá)的意思是對方確實(shí)愛他，最好譯成“whether or not you love me”。

本月題目

每逢新年伊始，時(shí)尚界便開始蠢蠢欲動，一年一度的春夏時(shí)裝發(fā)布又鳴鑼上演。巴黎男裝周、巴黎高級定制服、紐約、倫敦、米蘭、巴黎四大女裝周，輪番上陣的新季發(fā)布，讓人目不暇接。受到經(jīng)濟(jì)危機(jī)的影響，低調(diào)是本季時(shí)尚T臺的主打，但是也有反其道而行之者，法國殿堂級時(shí)裝品牌高緹耶就是一例。

高級定制真的是一件燒錢的事，不過這并不會妨礙高緹耶（Jean Paul Gaultier）在2009年春天為我們獻(xiàn)上充滿80年代風(fēng)格的奢華、精致、絕美的視覺饗宴。高緹耶完美的將羽毛和刺繡結(jié)合在一起，繁復(fù)的服裝樣式、極具美麗的旋渦式華麗花邊，極盡奢華之能事。

高緹耶向我們展示了其最自豪的本錢：完美的剪裁、天衣無縫的刺繡?？梢哉f，高緹耶2009年春季高級定制秀是非常成功的！鋒利、凸出的線條和令人著迷的曲線對比，充滿戲劇化沖突的服飾，讓人們充分領(lǐng)略到了80年代巨星的風(fēng)采。

注：為了達(dá)到點(diǎn)評效果，本刊未對獲獎譯文進(jìn)行改動。

參與方法

一、 網(wǎng)站參與獲積分

請讀者朋友直接登錄雙語時(shí)代官方網(wǎng)站http://www.bbtime.com.cn的“雙語時(shí)代”版塊參與活動；

二、 直接發(fā)郵件

請把您的譯文在截稿日期前發(fā)送至contribution@bilingualtime.com（本期截稿日期2009年3月10號）。

翻譯擂臺“翻譯贏取積分活動”已經(jīng)開始，從2008年11月起只要譯文被選中刊登，譯者將獲贈50個(gè)積分以及當(dāng)期雜志一本！

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