我的信念

最近，我有許多朋友大學(xué)畢業(yè)了。不時(shí)有人會(huì)打電話給我，向我抱怨新工作，覺得自己沒有得到重視，或者沒能取得自己渴望的成功。我喜歡聽他們嘮叨。我認(rèn)為朋友的作用就在于此。不過，他們的抱怨也讓我更好地認(rèn)識(shí)到自己的工作

意義。

我與兩個(gè)患有發(fā)育障礙的人共事，實(shí)際上他們算是我的“老板”。他倆都是深度弱智人士，大吵大鬧卻口齒不清，性格粗暴卻不明后果。他們無法自己洗澡，不會(huì)下廚也不能工作。他們的行為時(shí)而緊張不安，時(shí)而兇狠好斗。

作為一名常駐服務(wù)助理，我會(huì)上門幫他們完成一切日常雜務(wù)——洗澡、穿衣、做飯、喂食、清潔、如廁——從他們起床一直忙到他們就寢，時(shí)薪只有9美元。

不受人重視？試試在換尿布的時(shí)候被人扯斷頭發(fā)的滋味吧，或者你準(zhǔn)備的食物被人丟回你身上的感覺。試試被人吐口水是什么滋味。

但有趣的是，我熱愛我的工作。我真的很喜歡。我知道我還年輕，還有很多東西需要學(xué)習(xí)，但這正是我學(xué)到的一點(diǎn)：我相信無助感，也就是說，我認(rèn)為我們都需要

其他人。

僅僅成為社會(huì)公認(rèn)的成功人士是遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不夠的。我們真正需要的是身邊眾人的賞識(shí)、培養(yǎng)和聆聽，以及他們?cè)敢鉃槲覀儬奚约旱臅r(shí)間和手頭的工作。我并不在乎你是擁有億萬資產(chǎn)的大公司的CEO，還是家里有5個(gè)孩子的單親媽媽，沒有人能夠完全自給自足，所以就這點(diǎn)而言，我們都很無助。我們都需要無助地依賴他人。

對(duì)于我們這一代人來說，“成功等于成就”這個(gè)觀念已經(jīng)深深植根于我們心里，仿佛那就是真理。我們這一代人總是被這樣教導(dǎo)著——如果你不能獨(dú)立完成任務(wù)，如果你不夠聰明或能力不足，你就是個(gè)失敗者。

然而迄今為止，我的每個(gè)人生轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)都不是我在某個(gè)方面取得成功，而是當(dāng)我低聲說“我失敗了”、“幫幫我”，或者“我需要一個(gè)朋友”的時(shí)候。每逢無助，我就能接受愛我的人對(duì)我的影響和支持——無助成了一份天賜的禮物。

我要感謝我的老板們（讓我明白到這一點(diǎn)）。我們一起發(fā)掘出助人與被助的快樂。我相信，有些時(shí)候，我們的弱點(diǎn)正是我們的力量。

Most of my friends have recently graduated from

college. Every so often，

one will call me up to 1)grumble about their new job， telling

me how 2)under-

appreciated they feel， or how they’re

not achieving the success they

wanted. I enjoy listening to them. I think that’s what friends are for. But it also gives me 3)perspective on my own work.

I work with two developmentally disabled men， my bosses essentially， who each have 4)profound mental 5)retardation. They’re loud without being able to speak. They’re violent without understanding the consequences. They can’t bathe themselves. They can’t cook or work a job. Their behaviors range from 6)catatonic to 7)aggressive.

As a resident service assistant， I go to where these men live and help them in everything they do – bathing， dressing， cooking， feeding， cleaning，

going to the bathroom – from the moment they wake until they go to bed. It pays nine bucks an hour.

Underappreciated? Try having your hair ripped out while changing a 8)diaper. Try having the meal you’ve prepared thrown at you. Try being spit on.

The funny thing is， I love my job. I do. I know I’m

young and still have a lot to learn， but here it is: I believe in helplessness， which is to say I believe we need other humans.

It isn’t enough to be what our society has 9)dubbed as successful. What we really need are others around us 10)engaging， 11)nurturing， listening and willing to sacrifice their time and 12)agendas. I don’t care if you’re the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company or a single mother with five kids. Nobody is completely self-

sufficient and so， in that way， we are all

helpless. We’re helpless unto each other.

For my generation， the notion that success equals fulfillment has been 13)pounded into our brains as if it were the truth. My generation is being told that if you can’t do something alone， if you’re not smart enough or capable enough， then you’ve failed.

So far， the turning points in my life have not been the times I succeeded at something， but the times I’ve whispered， “I’m lost，” or “Help me，” or “I need a friend.” In becoming helpless，

I’ve allowed myself to be shaped and

supported by those who love me – which makes helplessness a gift.

And I have my bosses to thank for it. We’ve discovered the joy of helping and being helped. I believe sometimes our 14)vulnerability is our strength.