ＥＮＧＬＩＳＨ ＪＯＫＥＳ
2008-12-31 00:00:00捷倫
今日中學(xué)生(初二版) 2008年10期
（A）
Theater manager: Madam， you may not take that dog into the theater. I’m sorry it is not permitted（允許）.
Woman: That’s ridiculous（荒唐可笑的）！What harm（危害）could the movies（影片）do to a little dog like this?
（B）
Jimmy: Hey， Dad， there’s a big black cat in the dining room.
Dad: That’s all right， Jimmy. Black cats are lucky.
Jimmy: But this one ate your dinner.
（C）
Teacher: Milton， how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can’t. Besides， I never said it was.
（D）
Sam: Rome was built during the night.
Teacher: The night!Where did you ever get such an idea?
Sam: Well， everyone knows that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
（E）
Farmer’s wife: Do you mind eating yesterday’s soup?
Farmhand: Not at all.
Farmer’s wife: Well， then come back tomorrow.
（F）
George: Daddy， may I please have a dollar?
Father: But I gave you a dollar yesterday， George. Don’t you know the value（價(jià)值）of money?
George: Sure. If I didn’t， why would I keep asking you for some?
（G）
Jack: Yesterday， I saw you running down the street pushing your bicycle.
Jim: Yes， I was late for an appointment（約會）and didn’t have time to get on.
（H）
Randy: I can be sick for nothing（免費(fèi)醫(yī)療）because my father is a doctor.
Sandy: That’s nothing. I can be good for nothing（游手好閑者）because my father is a minister.
（I）
Teacher: It’s the Law（法律；定律）of gravity（重力）that keeps us from falling off the earth.
Silly Suzie: What kept us from falling off before the law was passed?
（J）
Teacher: Sam， if you had three apples and ate one， how many would you have?
Sam: Three.
Teacher: Yes. Two outside and one inside.
（K）
Teacher: Now， class， are there any questions?
Dan: Yes. Where do those words go when you rub（擦）them off the blackboard?
（L）
Teacher: If you stood with your back to the north and faced due south（正南方）， what would be on your left hand?
Tom: Fingers.
（M）
Teacher: We know that heat causes（使）an object（物體）to expand（膨脹）and cold causes it to contract（收縮）. Now， can anyone give me a good example?
Todd: Well， in the summer the days are long， and in the winter the days are short.
（N）
Patrick: I once had to live on a can（罐頭）of beans for three days.
Michael: My goodness!Weren’t you afraid of falling off?
（O）
Ann: I’m saving some money to buy one of those small Japanese radios.
Nan: How are you going to understand what they’re saying?
（P）
Customer（雇客）: Is this a second-hand（舊貨；秒針）store?
Clerk（店員）：Yes.
Customer: Good， I’d like to buy one for my watch.
