你長了綠頭發(fā)

徐翰林／譯

人與人之間的感情受到傷害時(shí)，總會(huì)心煩意亂。當(dāng)別人向你抱怨他受到“羞辱”或被別人侮辱時(shí)，你該怎樣回應(yīng)他呢？

心理學(xué)家杰克·坎菲爾德有一個(gè)很好的建議，即對(duì)抱怨者說：“如果我對(duì)你說，‘喬，你長綠頭發(fā)了。你會(huì)感到難過嗎？”

他的回答可能會(huì)是：“不。”

如果你再問他：“為什么呢？”

他的回答可能是這樣：“因?yàn)槲抑雷约翰粫?huì)長綠頭發(fā)。”

這樣你就可以說：“所以，我的話并沒有影響到你，最重要的是你對(duì)自己的看法。”

“任何時(shí)候，如果別人所說的關(guān)于你或你所做的事，讓你感到不安，那是因?yàn)樵谀撤N程度上，你對(duì)自己的這個(gè)方面也有些懷疑?！?/p>

（熊文摘自《最富哲理的美文》）

Hurt feelings between people can be very upsetting. How should you respond when someone comes to you complaining about being“put down”or insulted by someone else？

Psychologist Jack Canfield has a good suggestion. Says to the complainer, “Suppose I were to say, ‘Joe, you have green hair. Would that make you feel bad？ ”

Hell probably reply, “No.”

Ask, “Why not？”

His likely reply is“Because I know I dont have green hair.”

You say, “So what I say to you neednt affect how you feel. What you believe about yourself is more important.”

“Anytime you feel upset about what someone says about you , or something you do, it's because at some level you doubt yourself in that area.”